I've been at that place where I devalued myself, because of the "love" I had for another, seemed to be greater than anything else.
I've been to that place where all I wanted was that "someone" to LOVE me as much as I loved them.
I've been at that place where I did things; drink, have sex before marriage, etc, just to make up for the emptiness that came with; low self-esteem, not feeling valued, not....
I've been at that place of isolation and in near site was the ABSENT voice of close friends to bring about encouragement.
I've been at that place when I've felt it would be much easier to end it all then to deal with the season of pain.
I've been at that place when I felt, "I JUST DIDN'T FIT".
I've been at that place when I felt, I'm ONLY wanted because of what I could do or give to another. A place where my own safety and well-being took the back seat to appease another.
I've been at that place when all that I wanted was to have a great relationship with my dad; to even feel the loving embrace of my sisters arms was an unfamiliar place.
That place that made me question, at times, is God even there.
I'VE-BEEN-THERE and now I look back and I thank God that he placed in me that fight to never give up.
See, had I given up I would've never discovered this place called Value. The place where I appreciate the awkwardness, the beauty, the uniqueness, the strength, the determination and the fearlessness of WHO I AM.
Had I given up, I would've never learned what it means to endure the storm until the sun shines again or how to ride the waves until HE speaks to the raging waters, peace be still. I was frequently reminded of a Psalm (30:5), weeping may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning.
Had I given up, I wouldn't have discovered the transformation of the things, after, that were present before the storm.
Most importantly, I wouldn't have had the opportunity to discover this amazing spirit of unfailing love, peace, patience, joy and victory. That spirit that was always ready to full me up, so that every empty area in me exists no more. Oh how I'm so ever grateful to my Lord for HIS forever renewing mercies and unfailing grace.
In no way is everything perfect in my life, but I've learned and continue to learn how to "SURF"- riding the waves until the end.
Having discovered that my life isn't only valuable to me, but to HIS Kingdom. There's PLENTY of work to be done, so please be encouraged and know that your DESTINY is WORTH the FIGHT.
Soar like an Eagle,
S.A.W
